


Lex Luthor Got Ran Over By a Reindeer

by IndigoCat



Category: Smallville
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-12-22
Updated: 2001-12-22
Packaged: 2017-11-01 09:27:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/354965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IndigoCat/pseuds/IndigoCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The title says it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lex Luthor Got Ran Over By a Reindeer

## Lex Luthor Got Ran Over By a Reindeer

by IndigoCat

[]()

* * *

The reindeers ate on the grass growing on beside the peaceful lake while Santa Claus took care of a few urgent needs underneath a convenient tree. Mrs. Claus had pressed one last mug of apple cider into her husband's hand right before he and the reindeer took off on their yearly journey. The pressure in his bladder forced him to land outside of Smallville, Kansas. 

He should have went in Gotham instead of thinking that he could wait until he reached Metropolis. Usually he delivered his gifts and left Smallville as quickly possible, rarely partaking of the refreshments left there for him. Smallville was beautiful but it had too many strange things happening here since the meteor strike back in 1989 for him to feel comfortable staying there long. 

Too bad he didn't notice the green glow from the bottom of the lake. 

Lex Luthor staggered out into the backyard of the Kent farm and walked towards his car. The familial love that filled the farmhouse was starting to suffocate him. He need to a chance to clear his mind of the jealousy and envy that was starting to eat away at him. Clark was his friend. His only friend. He would not let his jealousy and envy destroy that relationship. 

It wasn't Clark fault that he had the family life that he desired. Unlike Clark's parents, his parents rarely touched him except when it made for good publicity. The pictures that he had of himself and his parents showed on the surface a happy, loving family, a family that was responsible for the health and prosperity of several thousand employees. No one would ever suspect that it was all a show and that the love stopped when the cameras turned away. Even on her deathbed, his mother didn't even tell him that she loved him. Her final words to him as the breath left her body were Luthors do not cry. 

He wanted what Clark had. A loving and supportive family. A family that didn't shy away from him because he looked like a freak. People that would be there for him no matter what as he would be for them. 

Lex rubbed a hand across his scalp. No use wanting something that he would never have. He would get a loving, supportive family the same day The Inquisitor found proof Santa really existed. 

"Whoa, Donner. Whoa, Dancer." The voice came from towards the sky. Only in Smallville. He looked up. 

And saw a sleigh being pulled by eight tiny reindeer with green glowing eyes, heading straight towards him. The driver of the sleigh pulled hard on the reins, trying to avoid him. But Lex could see that the driver wouldn't be able to turn the sleigh in time. 

Lex dove into a snow bank. Hooves grazed his back as he sucked in a lung full of snow. He felt the wind from the sleigh rush over him as he lay in the snow, wondering how he would survive this one. 

He could see the headlines in The Daily Planet. LEX LUTHOR RAN OVER BY A REINDEER. 

The sound of sleigh bells faded out into the distance. But Lex stayed where he lay. He wasn't going to take the chance that the maniac driver would turn the sleigh around and take another shot at him. Lionel Luthor didn't raise him with love and affection but he did raise him not to be stupid. And for once he planned to listen to his father. 

"Lex!" Jonathan Kent's voice came from in front of him. Cautiously he raised his head. Jonathan and Clark ran towards him. Clark reached him first and knelt beside him. 

"Get down!" Lex looked around at the night sky. "He might be back." 

"We know," Jonathan Kent said as he reached him. "We'll be safer inside." 

"Right. Unless he comes down the chimney." He was babbling. Luthors never babbled, but he was doing it now. 

Jonathan looked up at the sky. "We'll close the damper." 

Clark and Jonathan helped him to his feet and together the three of them dashed for the house. 

Martha Kent opened the screen door as soon as their feet hit the porch. The three dashed in. Together the elder Kents closed and locked the door. 

Lex winced as Clark wrapped his arm his shoulders. 

"Lex?" Clark stepped around behind him. "Mom. Dad." 

He heard Martha's gasp of surprise. "Lex, why don't you set down son," Jonathan said, steering him towards a kitchen chair. 

The elder Kents helped him out of his leather jacket then his shirt as Clark dashed out of the room and in a heartbeat was back, arms loaded down with bandages and alcohol, sitting them down on the table. He picked up Lex's jacket and shirt to move them out of his parents' way. Lex's eyes widen when he saw the tears in his jacket. Pain ripped through his body. "I don't feel so good." 

Lex fell forward in a faint. 

When he regained consciousness, Lex was lying on his stomach on a bed in a room that smelled heavily of disinfectant. The pain in his back was now a dull tingle. 

"Lex?" Callused fingers brushed against his scalp. 

"Clarrrk?" Even to his ears, his voice was slurred. 

"Yeah, it's me." 

"What happened?" 

"I'm not sure if you're going to believe this." 

"This is Smallville. Try me." 

"You were run over by a reindeer." 

Memories of an out of control sleigh and eight reindeer with green glowing eyes came rushing back. "I believe you." He pushed himself up on his elbows, ignoring the pull of stitches on his back. "Let's get out of here." 

Clark caught him as he rolled off the bed and set Lex on his feet. "I don't think that the doctor will let you leave." 

"Yes, he will. He'll have no choice." 

By the time, the doctor was convinced that he was well enough to leave and papers were signed, Martha and Jonathan Kent were in the hospital room. "Ready to go?" Jonathan's eyes swept across Lex and Clark. 

"We're waiting for the wheelchair," Clark answered. 

"We're not waiting for a wheelchair. We're leaving as soon as I call for a cab." 

"You're going home with us." Martha smiled at him. "Dr. Rivers only let you go on the condition that there is someone to look after you." 

"I have people who are paid to do that." 

"Well, they're not me." Martha folded her arms across her chest. 

Clark leaned close to Lex. "You better listen to her. You don't want to cross her when she's in mom mode." 

Lex leaned close enough to Clark that their heads were almost touching. "I won't." 

As the nurse rolled his wheelchair out of the room, Lex closed his eyes and let himself believe for a little while that he was part of a family that loved him. 

Note: I was watching the DVD of Grandma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer with my two nieces when I was bitten by the plotbunny for this story. It became an angst story after watching Jitters. 

Here's the words to the song. 

Grandma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer  
Dr. Elmo 

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer  
Walking home from our house Christmas eve You can say there's no such thing as Santa But as for me and Grandpa we believe 

She'd been drinking too much eggnog  
And we begged her not to go  
But she forgot her medication  
And she staggered out the door into the snow When we found her Christmas morning  
At the scene of the attack  
She had hoof prints on her forehead  
And incriminating Claus marks on her back 

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer  
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve You can say there's no such thing as Santa But as for me and Grandpa we believe 

Now we're all so proud of Grandpa  
He's been taking this so well  
See him in there watching football  
Drinking beer and playing cards with cousin Mel It's not Christmas Eve without Grandma  
All the family's dressed in black  
And we just can't help but wonder  
Should we open up her gifts or send them back Send them back 

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer  
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve You can say there's no such thing as Santa But as for me and Grandpa we believe 

Now the goose is on the table  
And the pudding made of figs  
And the blue and silver candles  
That would have matched the hair in Grandma's wig. I warned all my friends and neighbors  
Better watch out for yourselves  
They should never give a license  
To a man who drives a sleigh   
And plays with elves. 


End file.
